My life early on was filled with trauma, abuse and physical neglect. Why is this relevant? Well it will become clear as we journey on reflection through the experience I have had till now as a practicing yogi.
I sought out yoga in my late 20’s, as a budding adventure racer, I lived for a very YANG existence.
Through this very existence I was attracted to Bikram Yoga where I practiced at least three times a week. My aim and goal was to build a strong core to avoid any further injure as an extreme athlete. Being a complete novice to Bikram, I had no idea of the depth in which I could delve into this practice of yoga.
Until one day I had invoked a complete emotion release from some trauma that had been buried in my physical body for a very long time. Through this experience, lack of understanding of the true virtue of yoga I turned my back on the practice in order to never see what some would call “demons” again. That was the end of my relationship with my mat.
Until one day I experienced a panic attack that turned my life upside down. After failing to find a practitioner to help relieve my symptoms of a compounding stressful western lifestyle, I stumbled across meditation and yogic breath work.
Once again I was reunited with my mat, discovering another layer to yoga, which opened up a new sense of relief from a disabling YANG existence. Unbeknown to me I began to bring a YIN practice into my life, this brought with it the gift of balance and space to my internal world and external existence.
The change was so profound – I was hooked and jumped straight down the rabbit hole. But like all things, whatever contracts must experience expansion. With that new found awareness came the undoing of a very unhealthy life style. I experienced physical pain, emotional pain and a huge amount of anger towards the neglect of my physical form and the restrictions that had overshadowed my own purpose and growth.
I had lost connection to self, nature and the magic of a greater force. Yet this clearing gave space to new possibilities. I started to connect my mind to my body and release the toxicity of the mind, body and spirit.
My body started to change, my mind had space to become an observer and my spirit started to soar.
I could look in the mirror and find forgiveness for myself and let go of the stories, which had held my spirit back from becoming a co-creator. I started to live rather than survive. I started to become the master and the student of my own dominion. My way of life changed, my understanding of life changed and the darkness from my past become my gift.
I started to practice Yoga in everything I did, eating, sleeping and connecting.
As the old started to fade away the new possibilities started to show up in form. The form of my body, the people around me, and the life I was discovering. I opened to the possibility and connection to Universe and myself.
Yoga for me has been a strategy, philosophy and a physical practice in which I now live my life by. I started to expand, I had an inner calling to share this amazing opportunity with others and I commenced my teacher training so I could share this with others and allow the possibility for others to experience their own individual connection to their mat and the greater force behind such a grounding practice.
My future is always expanding; I now bring Yoga into all that I do and as this develops so do my field of possibilities. My own micro-cosmos of creation now has a foundation and roots firmly within the earth. I do believe with the winds of change, stormy waters and the rising of the sun, I have a place in my heart that stands strong & cultivates my own constitution.
So with that, I put no strong thoughts into where this journey may take me, by that action alone I will be restricting the infinite possibilities that this beautiful practice can gift.
Knowing that this has greater possibilities than I could ever imagine, I trust I will discover and explore beyond my own imagination.
My own resolve: I promise to stay open to my practice, become the student and the teacher whilst allowing the flexibility to flow with the river of life, carving out my own unique imprint on this planet. Namaste.